Dating website just moved to town

“The women are, what’s the word, well-circulated.” John, a 24-year-old bartender, says that he’ll often have more than one waitress friend come by after her shift and ask if she can crash at his place downtown, and he’ll just sleep with the one who asks first.

Brittany, a 26-year-old waitress, tells me that when she joined Tinder, all her friends called her “Tinderella” because it was so weird to be on it. People love to blame Tinder for hookup culture, but Becky joined because she was looking for the opposite.

From what I could glean, the local servers, bartenders, and chefs in town just sleep with one another.

Dog cocking his head sideways, eyebrows up; grown man holding two kittens up to ears to keep them warm; prospective future boyfriend rolling around on the grass with his puppy; man of your dreams slow-dancing with a husky.

ALT: (This is an actual Health Freak bio I came across) "Please have REAL photos of yourself. I'll cook you dinner if you'll let me talk about my start-up app that puts shelter animals in loving homes.

I will challenge you and when need be, call you on your sh*t. (Then again, you'll always have this Tumblr, Tinder Guys With Tigers.) Other Vegas Baby pics: Posing in clubs with women many levels out of their league; grabbing the bottle of vodka from a random table to snap a quick pic and hoping no one notices; fedoras, facial hair, bad suits, pick-up artist vibes. Google just bought it from me but it's still my baby." In the words of Dark Helmet in Spaceballs… You're just gonna have to settle for one of the above.

"We can say we met in a Whole Foods" another classic old mannerism, in that it's a line people haven't used on Tinder since the dark ages.

That’s the feeling that rises up in my throat whenever anyone asks me the totally non-condescending question of why I’m still single, which I’ve answered so many times in so many tones (“Just haven't met the right guy, I guess! There was the guy who kept taking calls from a number he’d labeled “Happy Happy Fun Time,” which turned out to be his drug dealer.