I knew the person better and we kept building a good rapport together.We’d develop more inside jokes and just generally get along better, because we were familiar.Amanda fails to be charmed by his obscure literary references and thinks he is a 3.Yet Eileen thinks he is a 9; she finds his allusions captivating.” In most cases, people’s unique traits and values are difficult to recognize, let alone appreciate, in an initial encounter.Unlike my enlightened friend in Monroe, I just hadn’t had enough faith in people. Instead of trying to date so many different people and getting stressed out with texting games and the like, I was really getting to know a few people and having a better time for it.After doing the research for this book and spending time reading papers with long-ass titles like “Couples’ Shared Participation in Novel and Arousing Activities and Experienced Relationship Quality,” I realized the results of my personal experiment were quite predictable.
There were a lot of first dates but not as many third dates.
The quality of dates is one thing, but what about the quantity?
When thinking about that question, I recalled a change I made in my own personal dating policy at one point.
If I went out with a girl, and the date felt like it was a six, normally I wouldn’t have gone on a second date.
Instead, I would have been on my phone texting other options, trying to find that elusive first date that would be a nine or a ten.